Practicing A Bit Of Scary Christianity

I did something scary yesterday. It caused me great trepidation and anxiety.

I would not have done it if I were not a Christian.

This really upset me, practically turned my stomach. I avoid confrontation.

Isn’t being a Christian supposed to bring you peace and joy and love and all that crap? Isn’t the burden supposed to be easy and the yoke light?

Such stuff is beyond my experience.

I felt so upset about what I had to do that butterflies the size of 747s fluttered in my stomach. I tried to figure some way to avoid doing it. I racked my brain trying to think of some Bible verse that would ease my mental anguish, but I couldn’t think of one that would let me off the hook.

How am I as a Christian father supposed to deal with the stalker who made that indecent proposal to one of my daughters? I wrote about this yesterday.

The only Scripture I could think of to guide me in this was Matthew 18:15-17; that’s where Jesus says, “Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother…”

Ok. Ok. Light burden. Easy yoke. Other cheek and all that jazz— easier said than done, Lord.

I felt, on the basis of Scripture, that I was to go to the married man who approached my daughter as a whore and confront him face to face without anger, in Christian compassion, remembering that I too am a sinful man with plenty of beams in my own eye.

I shaved, dressed, and took a walk to think out what I wanted to say. Then I came home and wrote down exactly what to say. I did not want to speak in anger or ad lib words and I certainly did not want to prolong this unpleasant duty. I wanted to say my piece in less than 60 seconds or less, so I wrote it down as a statement to read to him.

I cast about for some excuse to delay this duty but could think of none.

When you know that you absolutely, positively have to eat a frog, it’s best not to look at it too long before hand.

I drove to his office and asked him to talk with me privately — but in a public place.

Here, with three changes to disguise the names of those involved, is the statement I read to him face to face:

Statement I read to The Guy on July 12, 2006, at 9:10 a.m.

Guy, I feel upset.

Very upset. And, in accordance with Bible teachings about how a Christian man is to protect his family, I come to you in person first to read this statement.

This morning I received an e-mail from my daughter telling me about the indecent proposal you made to her yesterday at her workplace.

I feel that our friendship has been violated and held in contempt by your addressing her as a whore who would consent to becoming your mistress. She assures me that she has given you no encouragement whatsoever for your low, no-account, despicable, sorry behavior. She was surprised, shocked and reduced to tears.

I assume you were drunk when you spoke of cheating on your wife and degrading my daughter. Even drunk, this is the act of a cheat and a dastardly sleaze.

At this point this is only between you and me. I see no need to tell your wife, or to call the police, or to bring this up at a congregational meeting, or to post you name and address on the web —Yet.

However, if there is one more phone call to my daughter, if you go by her house or show up at her workplace for any reason, I will call your wife, and I will advise my daughter to file legal charges against you for sexual harassment of a government employee in the workplace. A recent memo from the administration takes a dim view of such sexual harassment. There is to be zero tolerance of such low-down behavior.

I feel disappointed to think that you hold our friendship and a member of my family in such low esteem. I thought you and I were friends but I feel you have treated us with contempt by your despicable words and actions.

John Cowart

The guy seemed stunned.

He cried.

He apologized profusely.

He displayed every evidence of remorse and contrition.

I offered to leave him a copy of my written statement in case he wanted to share it with his wife. He declined.

I felt like vomiting.

Sometimes I wish I were not a Christian, or that, since I am, that I wouldn’t take the words of Jesus so seriously. But, He is Lord and there’s not a bit of sense in calling Him Lord and not doing at least some of what He says once in a while.

This experience left me (and the guy) depleted. The guy promised to never again contact my daughter under any circumstances.

We’ll see.

Scripture outlines the next step if he does.

We dads are sometimes good for something.

I drove back home and ate a slice of left-over birthday cake for breakfast.

Thanks be to God.