The Worst People/Film On Earth?

Wednesday I continued formatting the two book manuscripts I’m preparing.

With much fussing and fuming and frustration, I managed to post a sample chapter, The Worst People On Earth. on my website.

The chapter title comes from a 1956 Time magazine article referring to the Auca Indians of Ecuador who murdered five missionaries drawing worldwide attention to the previously obscure tribe.

That’s one incident I include in my book, Strangers On The Earth. This book was previously published by InterVarsity Press under the title People Whose Faith Got Them Into Trouble, but that’s been long out of print. So I’ve revamped it and added a few more chapters getting it ready to re-issue it in February – and yes, this is the same manuscript I intended to have published last November, but was too lazy to get it done.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the sample chapter.

The layoff at Ginny’s office made the tv news last night with the emphasis being on how much money would be saved by firing people. No mention of the major service cuts this action will generate. Ginny – as she does in every crisis – lets it all swirl around her as she blithely goes about her duties as though there were no crisis.

I’ve seen her do this again and a gain over the years. She is the most calm, contented, non-excitable, focused person I have ever met. I suppose she has to be in order to stay married to me all this time.

The only time I’ve ever seen her blow up was back when we were first married and driving a truck cross country. A government inspector was giving me a hard time over some paperwork on a shipment I’d already delivered. He and I stood beside the door to the truck as Ginny was sweeping the interior. I attempted peacemaking, conciliation and negotiation to placate the guy. Ginny swept a mighty cloud of dust into his face, brandished the broom over her head like a swarm of avenging Valkyries, and chased him down the street shouting, “One more word out of you! Just one more word! And I’ll cram this broom up your ass sideways and twist it”! The inspector jumped in his car and fled the scene without one more word.

I was impressed.

That was close to 40 years ago and I’ve never seen her loose her cool again.

To relax last night, we watched a DVD borrowed from Donald.

This prime example of the film maker’s art attracts the attention of refined, cultured viewers with discriminating tastes. It’s called Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter.

In the opening scenes of this fictional cinematic event, vampires attack lesbians in the city. Church leaders appeal to the Savior of the world for help. Jesus, who’s been studying karate before his second advent, comes out of retirement to battle the vampires. He recruits followers who follow him as he whisks along the street on his skateboard healing the sick, blind and crippled as he goes. He meets Mary Magnum who makes him get a haircut and one earring then takes him to a thrift store to buy modern clothes. A gang of 36 atheists attack and Jesus karateizes the lot. Then vampires beat him up and leave him bleeding in the gutter. A priest passes by on the other side, a cop passes by, but the Good Transvestite picks him up and nurses him to health. Then Jesus teams up with a professional wrestler and they whack vampires right and left in an auto junk yard and –

Oh yes, have I mentioned that this movie is a musical?

The tunes are not as catchy as those in Godspell; I mean how can you compare “Prepare Ye The Way Of The Lord” with “Everybody Gets Laid Tonight”?

Is this movie the worst ever made?

I doubt it.

Is it blasphemous?

Well, except for a bit of psychobabble mush toward the end, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter adheres to the Holy Bible closer than some sermons I’ve heard preached in churches.

I’d give it a thumbs up, except that some vampire might bite my thumb off.

Ginny’s evaluation?

“John, that is so terrible that it’s … terrible”.

I love her with all my heart but she will never make it as a movie critic.