The Curse Of Laocoon

When the ancient Greeks attacked the city of Troy, they couldn’t get inside the walls so they made this hollow wooden horse filled with soldiers.

You know how that worked.

In Troy lived a seer named Laocoon who tried to warn the people not to bring that Trojan Horse inside the walls. He said:

Do not trust this horse, Trojans,
I fear the Greeks, even bearing gifts.

When everyone ignored his warning to Beware of Greeks bearing gifts, Laocoon got peeved and threw a spear at the horse.

This annoyed the god Poseidon who had a thing about horses, so he condemned Laocoon and his sons to an eternity of wrapping Christmas presents.

Thus the miserable trio remain forever entangled in miles of green and red ribbon, yards of wrapping paper too small for the packages, strips of Scotch tape that stick to every surface but the paper, and thousands of stick-on bows that have lost their stickiness..

About the year 42 B.C. the Rhodian sculptor Agesander carved a statue of Laocoon and his sons entangled in Christmas wrapping.

You can see that sculpture in the Vatican today:

Why does a vision of that famous statue stick in my mind?

Well, yesterday for SEVEN HOURS!!! I helped Ginny wrap Christmas presents.

Enough said?