In Deep Stuff—A Rant!

At 2:30 Thursday morning I rushed through my initial chores of the day so I could get out to the pool before sunup to watch the Perseid meteor shower. Astronomers predicted that over 100 shooting stars would burn through the earth’s atmosphere each hour.

I floated on an air mattress in the pool watching the sky.

I have a bone to pick with astronomers.

They lie.

Bet they were all snug in warm beds chuckling about that idiot floating around in a pool on an air mattress in Florida freezing his ass off without seeing a single shooting star.

But, I’m a Christian. I forgive them.

To me to forgive means that I will not feed them feet-first into a wood chipper machine.

I mean, how much more Christian can I be than to forgive?

Unfortunately, yesterday afternoon I read the words of a respected Christian author who advocates a “Deeper Christian Life”.

This author punctured my air mattress.

My own Christian life is already so deep I’m drowning in it.

This pool has no ladder.

I’m sinking.

Reading this stuff makes me think I feel I’m hardly a Christian at all, especially when it comes to forgiving others.

The Deeper Author says, “Forgiveness has unbelievable power, but it’s not easy. Superficial forgiveness can deceive us. We can “forgive” to feel superior. I forgive—it’s over and done with, but the pain is still there—I’m just acting. Words can’t end grief and pain. I forgive, but nothing will ever be the same between us.

“But real forgiveness must involve reconciliation and the restoration of relationship.

“In real forgiveness I must recognize we are both in pain. I must stop blaming (Forgive, they know not…) In Isaiah 44, the man with the idol feeds on ashes. Trust the other person even if it means getting hurt again. Value the relationship more than being right, more than grief and hurt.

“When you forgive, you entrust yourself to God, not to the other person…”

Bull!

Reconciliation. Restoration. Relationship.

I just don’t see it.

My attitude is, “OK. I forgive you. Now go away”.

If I forgive you, then go get on with your life while I get on with mine.

I mean I’ll treat the person I forgive just like I’d treat anyone I see in the grocery store—What relationship? They just happen to be there at the same time I am. I wish them well and mean them no harm. If one of them needs help reaching a can of beans on the top shelf, I’d reach it down for them. I’ll stand to the side and let them get their cart through. If the guy ahead of me at checkout is a couple of dollars short, I’ll hand it to him…But there is no “relationship” with these people.

Nor should there be.

The subject of forgiveness came up again for me earlier this week—not worth going into again, I’ve written about the same thing before, But somebody this week pushed an In-Your-Face forgiveness situation on me.

I replied polite but distant.

I have forgiven them. I did not feed them into the wood chipper. What more can they want. But the situation aggravates me.

The shallow Christian life is all I can handle.

And that life swamps me.

I’m floundering in the kiddy pool of faith.

Reminds me of the old story about the guy who painted his mother’s kitchen for her. He feels he’s done well.

She looks around the finished work and says, “A dutiful son would have lined the shelves with fresh shelf paper”.

He says, “Mama, I guess I’ll never be a dutiful son. Every time I try, you raise the standards”.

The way I see it is that I forgive you—but don’t bother me while I’m running the wood chipper.

(P.S. From Ginny – He really is a nice guy.)