Cleaning Pipes

I spent the first day of May in the most pleasant way imaginable—cleaning pipes.

I do not collect pipes; but I have a lot of them.

But I’m afraid I neglect their care. When I’ve smoked one till it clogs up with all the gunk cigarette smokers inhale, I just switch to a different pipe. Eventually after a few months I run out of smooth-drawing pipes and stage a massive pipe cleaning day.

And Friday proved perfect for that project.

I gathered materials—pipes, pipe cleaners, rags, dental probes, lengths of wire, an oyster knife, and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey—and spread all this paraphernalia over several lawn chairs and tables outside.

As I worked in the shade of an awning, birds feasted at the feeders, lizards scrambled over the sundial, squirrels scampered in the bushes while a neighborhood cat slinked at the gate hoping to catch an unwary bird or squirrel.

Easy-listening played on the radio as I sipped ice tea and reamed out the pipe bowls with the oyster knife (the blade is shaped perfectly to reach the bottom of the bowl). Oh, by the way, I do not drink the whiskey, don’t have a taste for it, but about 15 years ago somebody gave me this fifth of Jack Daniels and I’ve used dots of it as a pipe cleaning solvent ever since.

The mindless task of cleaning pipes, listening to music, watching the birds, praying now and then, thinking little but keeping my hands busy---Well it was a time of peace and relaxation.

While the outside world did its thing, I did mine.

The first two confirmed cases of Swine Flu have shown up in Florida and the governor has declared a state of public health emergency. One of the thousands of students at the university in Gainesville shows signs of flu but since this is graduation weekend with hundreds of thousands of parents, students, alumnae, and visitors in town, university officials decided to go ahead with activities in spite of flu dangers.

Meanwhile, the tv news keeps saying--stay calm—be concerned—nothing to be alarmed about—you’re all going to die—and they cite the millions of people who died in the 1918 epidemic as a comparison.

They project 50,000,000 people to die in this epidemic.

They forget that the death rate is the same as it’s always been—one per person.

It is appointed unto man once to die and after that the judgment.

So, in this time of medical crisis, we need the mercy of God just as much we do during normal times…

Er, come to think of it, these are normal times.

Well, it is now that my pipes are all clean and all I have to do is fill my tobacco pouch and smoke them.