A Dirty Old Man’s Erotic Christmas Dream

All I know is that on Christmas Eve about midnight while I sat in the living room putting new batteries in my digital camera for Christmas photos, I heard this scratching sound in the chimney.

When I looked up, there she was crawling out of the fireplace. She wore a red teddy lined with white fur. It gaped at the front showing quite a lot of her.

Startled, I said, “Are you San… “

“His daughter,” she said. “I’m helping out this year”.

“Want some milk and cookies”?.

“No thanks,” she said. “I just flew in from Germany, my last stop in Europe. Now, I start here in Florida and work my way north. So, what do you want for Christmas? You have been a good boy, haven’t you John”?

She laughed as she said that.

Of course, I noticed that it wasn’t her round little belly that shook as she laughed.

Nice. Very nice.

She noticed my glance. “Naughty. Naughty,” she said.

“What is it that you want for Christmas?” she asked again.

Embolden, I said, “That fur-lined underwear you have on is mighty attractive. Think I might have it”?

Slipping a teasing finger under one spaghetti strap on her shoulder, she said, “So, you’d like my fur-lined undergarment? I’ve just left Castle Marksburg in Germany. And there I picked up a little something that’s just right for you”.

Quick as a flash, she went straight to her work. I saw that she certainly filled her stockings, but she said, “What a jerk”.

She whipped out a cloth something from deep in her bag, threw it around my shoulders, and strapped me in so tight I could hardly move.

“It’s a hair-shirt for repentance, straight from Castle Marksburg’s medieval torture chamber,” she said. “How’s that for fur-lined underwear, John? You dirty old man you”!

And laying her finger aside of her nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney she rose.

And I heard her exclaim, err she drove out of sight, “Not even in your dreams, Cowart. Not even in your dreams”.

I prickle. I itch.

Did you know that a hair-shirt does not have a zipper?

How do I get out of this thing?