Wallowing In Depression & Rejection

Sunday at lunch I felt fine as I forked a bite of roast beef, but by the time I lifted it to my mouth a wet blanket of depression overwhelmed me.

Yes, it came on that sudden.

Waves of depression have hit me periodically before but never so clearly marked or so abrupt as this one.

No big deal; it’s something I live with.

Because of the sudden onset, I recognize a couple of the triggers this time.

Sunday afternoon Ginny frolicked scattering flower blossoms in the air as she figured our income tax for several hours.

As she played, I diligently studied financial matters also by reading Dave Barry’s Money Secrets.

Dave Barry is one of my favorite writers.

Chapters in his financial planning book include such timely topics as:

• Why Is There A Giant Eyeball On The Back Of A Dollar Bill?
• Teaching Your Children About Money: Let The Little Bastards Stave
• Start Your Own Business: Harness The Awesome Power of Human Stupidity
• Retirement Planning: The Financial Advantages of Early Death

From this sage volume I learned (as I have long suspected) that the chairman of the Federal Reserve Board who determines the flow and future of the U.S. economy, and Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who predicts six more weeks of winter if he sees his shadow — these two are actually the same person using the same techniques in their different professional capacities .

Anyhow, as I read this excellent book, I urged Ginny to forget that stuff they taught her while getting her accounting degree and to fill out our WD-40 according to Dave’s advice.

Even though she ignored me, we will get money back.

Amazing.

Friday night Ginny & I went out to dinner with our friends Warren & Carol. After we ordered, Carol asked me about where I’d gotten the idea for writing Glog, the novel which I consider the best thing I’ve ever written.

As I prepared a modest answer in my mind, she elaborated by saying she’d read the first 50 pages and decided the book was so horrible it gave her nightmares and she put it aside and has no intention of finishing the other 283 pages.

Her evaluation stunned me.

In my mind, Glog is a happy, bumbling, loveable creature who, although he devours an occasional human for food, should generate sympathy and identification in a reader. I never imagined that anyone would find him horrible.

Doing our taxes involved reviewing my book sales for 2005... I'm not nearly as depressed as I should be.

Of course all writers experience rejection; it goes with the territory. I once submitted a book manuscript 19 times before a publisher bought it.

Writers consider rejected manuscripts an occupational hazard.

One of my favorite cartoons shows an editor hard at work on one of my manuscripts. If profanity offends you, you may want to skip this, but here is a link to that cartoon.

Years ago I sent an article to a magazine. After a few months, the editor returned it. The editor had gone over my work with a blue pencil correcting typos and such as he read the article. He strengthened some weak verbs and removed redundancies — all work which indicated that he was considering the manuscript for publication… Until he arrived at my concluding paragraph…

Then he stabbed his blue pencil completely through all pages of the manuscript!

That was one ticked off editor.

Something must have touched a nerve.

I’ve never had that happen before.

Glad I didn’t deliver that manuscript in person.

Oddly enough, the article was an Easter-related piece. Here’s a link if you’d like to read Was Jesus A Ghost?

I wonder if Stephen King or Dave Barry ever had an editor stab a blue pencil completely through one of their manuscripts?

O well, I suspect Jesus Himself knows a bit more about rejection than I do.

And even while I’m blanketed with depression, I echo Job’s words, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him”.

Jesus is Lord even of my depression.

There were other things this weekend which also gave me a kick but taxes, finances and book sales are quite enough to whine about today.