One Way

No.

Relax.

This is not a religious tract.

You see, when I awaken about 3 o’clock each morning, I stumble bleary-eyed out of the bedroom, click on the table lamp, drink a glass of juice, perk a pot of coffee, then sit down at my computer to begin my day’s work of writing great literature and potentially best-selling books.

Lately, I’ve had trouble seeing my work.

No surprise there.

That early in the morning, as I said, I’m bleary-eyed.

Besides that, I have age related macular degeneration and my sight gradually fades.

Besides that, I’m dim.

Just plain not bright.

Three or four weeks ago when I clicked on that table lamp, the room did not brighten as much as it used too. Oh well, I figured, Just one of the vicissitudes of life and growing older.

Then, about two weeks ago, I clicked on the lamp, and things grew dimmer still. Maybe I should see the eye doctor (can’t spell ophthalmologist), I thought.

Thursday morning when Beauty got up a tad early (she usually sleeps till 6 a.m. — it’s daylight by then), she came out and found me hunched over my books squinting at ancient print.

“Why are you working like that? Why is it so dark in here?” she asked.

She soon explained that the table lamp has this three-way bulb — 50 watts, 100 watts, and 150 watts.

You see where this is going?

Apparently, four weeks ago, one element, the 150 one, burned out; thus making the lamp a two-way lamp.

I didn’t notice. Oh, I knew things were not as bright as they used to be, but I paid scant attention.

Then two weeks ago, another filament, the 100 watt one, burned out, making the lamp only one-way.

Again, I didn’t really notice.

It just didn’t register with me that my light was fading.

Had been for a long time.

Beauty changed the light bulb in my one way lamp and brightened my world again. In lots of ways, she always does that.

Thing is, this loss of light had happened so gradually and over such a long period of time, that it never dawned on me that the light I had was growing dimmer and dimmer and dimmer.

There may be a spiritual lesson here… but I don’t see what it is.

———

Remember I’ve said earlier this week that the Evil Wizard of the host server for my on-line book catalog is forcing me to move to a new format?

“A Mandatory Migration,” the Evil Wizard called it.

“Nothing to it. I’ll help you. I have this magic template,” he cackled.

Notice, that I’m the guy so high-tech that I can’t master a three-way table lamp.

Now, imagine me trying to move ten book listings from one format to another beneath the malevolent curse of the Evil Wizard’s mandatory migrating template.

I called in professional help, my friend and daughter-in-law, Helen — who is a graphic artist and web designer. She got everything moved and designed a new look for my Bluefish Books site.

It looks neat.

Whereas before, my site background was green because that’s the way it came and I didn’t know how to change it, she actually made the site — get this — BLUE!

Who would have thought of that? My Bluefish Books site is now blue on a blue background with a blue banner.

What a clever girl!

Here’s her latest photo:

So, yesterday afternoon, once Helen got it all set up and running, with links and graphics and everything, I went into the matrix to tweak the sidebar.

With the single touch of a button I, John Cowart, King Of The Geriatric Geeks, erased my own entire site.

Yes.

I did.

I said that too.

Helen, who must love my son dearly not to murder his father with an ax, says she will repair the damage I did today. She’s on speaking terms with that wizard thingy.

I solemnly promised her that I would never ever, ever, ever to touch the matrix codes again never , ever again —

At least not until I’ve mastered a three-way light bulb first.